2011
So, I just found out that you can build a website using WordPress....dumm dumb.... what? You just found out? I always thought it was a blog tool....but then it has all the UI that I need!! I'd rather deal with Word Press than Joomla, for some reason....hmmm. And I found out via a high school site...see how old I am?
And Golden Globes just came out
So, here is the plan, a great thing that the stock market is not open tomorrow!! MLK rocks!
1. Learn how to use Word Press efficiently to make a user maintainable website.
2. Re-learn Dreamweaver... (I am soooo dead)
3. Re-learn CSS 2.0, plus CSS 3.0 cutties (the rotating earth? what!! Where have I been?!! http://www.webdesignerwall.com/trends/css3-examples-and-best-practices/)
3. Watch all the golden globes movies, particularly King's Speech and Temple Grandin. I'm still resisting Black Swan and Social Network..ah... Hated Inception.... (Watched Date Night today, damn, Tina Fay is funny! You watch people like that, along with Felix Cane, and your jaw just drop. How do they do that? Uhhhhh And watched Little Children, Jackie Earle Haley, those eyes. Amazing! Get out of Human Target...)
ok...the list keeps growing
4. Zend frame work
5. JDeveloper
6. That screen writing book ... (I was watching Wall Street 1987 today, damn, it's a tight script. I had to go back to the script to catch up. Glimpse of Jame Spader, I'm still drooling... )
7. Photography..don't forget....but I just need one more lens, I swear....
Ok...breath now....
Ok...Now I have my list, I'm going to bed....
Ha ha!
Updates
My php madness has been terminated with a cloud of doubt...Oh well... back to the creative world, I guess I just cannot be a hard core nerd.
Canon 60D has totally occupied my mind. Testing, testing and more testing... The never ending thoughts "I wish I had the full size CMOS, I wonder if f1.4 lens would be a lot easier to do portrait, I wish I had the zoom lens..." The itchiness for creating something is back, that's wonderful...So much to learn again.
Accidentally found an ideal girl friend description on online "Innocent, inspiring, cute but not hot, creative, cheerfull, 20-28, short hair..." "the kind of girls i like are rare and specially in LA" ... Looks familiar, other than the short hair part. Ok. inside joke. Being here for a while now, I can see why this is hard. I mean look at those breakdowns, "young and hot" "bikini bodies" "total knock out" that or "Female, All ethnicity, love of John Doe" After a while, I don't even know what role fit me unless I was a model at least that's an easy shoe horn to fit into.
All I can say, it's OK. It was worse in China. Just Hold on there.
Speaking of China, I have been reading Ane's book on China's 1978-1998. Such an interesting period of time. The age of normal people heroes, aka, smart brave gamblers. haha.
Learning
I've always been split in two, this confidence to a degree of arrogance, and this deeply rooted hopeless insecureness, almost justified insecureness. Ha.
It's been a full year now, staying in this city of lure and desperation, but mostly staying in my silent apartment, I have been asking myself, did I get anywhere? Did I get anything out of it? Today, I realized one thing, I got one word -- "Humble" out of it. Just yesterday, I spent hours looking up different terms of sound, reading through manuals on audio mixing. I learned things certainly, but also opened a even bigger hole of unknown. It's frightening to think how much of an idiot I was when I asked people questions. And of course, you can say that kind of fear comes from arrogance. None of us knew everything right out of birth. But I always say "I wish I knew that earlier. I wish I could learn faster". Then looking at acting, I am at a point of just starting to dab into the deep sea of plays and acting, starting to feel the style and rhythm of certain playwrights, starting to grasp certain stories and characters faster, but there are so much more.
I have felt blue, I have felt depressed. I have asked myself "am I losing interest in something that defined the word PASSIONATE for me?" and felt the great fear of the possibility that it's true. But this humbleness re-grounded me. Like a rebirth. "Sit down, take a breath, read more, watch more, think more, do more...."
Once upon a time (fortunately, not a long time ago actually), one guy asked me "will you marry a rich old man for money, and then wait for his death?", I said "in my depressed days...."
while reading about central bank
my mind wandered away and started watching Netflix and ran across Gypsee Rose Lee, how refreshing. Sally Rand, how graceful and the creative Lili St. Cyr
八三运动
在如此政治敏感的时候，突然看见"八三运动"的号召，着实焖了一下，然后看见是“八小三”的， 太豆了。 说实在的，老公吗，找的时候眼睛睁大点，结了婚以后就不咬天天提心吊胆的，自己有追求，照顾好自己，多几个好朋友，给他一点没你我也活得很好的暗示就可以了。。。。否则多累。。。
It’s been said — – Pringles are Potato Chips
http://www.timesdispatch.com/rtd/business/legal/article/CHIPSGAT20_20090520-113606/268810/
Heard about this story on Marketplace
.....
While most food is exempt from Britain's 15 percent sales tax under British law, the U.K. tax office claimed Pringles are covered by an exception for products made from the potato, or from potato flour, or from potato starch.
P&Gs' lawyers argued Pringles don't look like a chip, don't feel like a chip and don't taste like a chip. They also claimed the snack isn't made like a chip since its cooked from baked dough, not potato slices.
....
I guess it was a tough debate since Pringles only has 42% potato. The host was so funny "by which measure, my couch has higher potato content than Pringles" 
一花一世界，一树一菩提
今天看到了去年的一张照片，很喜欢那种旷然的感觉。曾几何时总是追求那种独我的悠然平静，谁知激情才是真正吸引我的。 但为了那，我将放弃很多。 前途忐忑， 心忐忑。 不要后悔，不要后悔。不要流失了那些最美的感情。
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并不相关的， 看到了这首歌。豁达的歌词，据然是小虎队唱得。 要说郑智化还差不多 --不对，是另外一个歌手，向不起来时谁了。anyways, 每次听小虎队总想起青苹果乐园，想起隔了十年听到那首歌的时候创然泪下的情景。老了悠。
庸人自扰
爱不爱都受煎熬
同林鸟飞远了
谁不想暮暮朝朝
真心换来伤心
爱恨一肩挑 牙关紧咬
人生如粗饭劣肴
心中骂嘴里嚼
谁不想快活到老
茫茫人海渺渺
真情那里找
岁月又不轻饶
一生得几回年少
又何苦庸人自扰
斩不断情丝难了
爱人不见了
清醒还要趁早
乱麻要快刀
一生得几回年少
倦鸟终归要回巢
红尘路走过几遭
花开又花落
世事难预料
笑一笑往事随风飘
Population Control
Today (4/22), the Diane Rehm show featured the World Population topic. It was refreshing to hear someone saying something good about China's one child policy, which has been stigmatized by the western society forever and forever. At the same time, it was mildly disturbing to hear someone from UN (Hania Zlotnik, director, Population Division, United Nations) still refers to Hongkong and Macau as COUNTRIES. Common on, how many years has it been?
Interesting questions:
Does Capitalism rely on the expansion of population since Capitalism feeds on consumption?
Should it be free will for people to choose how many children they will have? It's general knowledge that we Human destroy the very planet that we live in. Non-renewable resources, waste product, etc. (A new thing is the contraceptive hormone disturbance we pass on to the nature . ) So the more of us, the faster we destroy the planet. Is the control of population in conflict with liberty and freedom? What should the government do, to control (few people like this word, so lets rephrase -- encourage/discourage by benefits/stimulus) or just educate?
Given people the free will to choose, will they naturally choose to have few babies? The UN lady thinks China's policy wasn't effective in a sense that the Europeans voluntarily chose to have fewer and fewer babies.Well, look at America. Aren't there more and more babies?
Since people with higher education and higher income have a tendency to have fewer babies, educating people to think from the perspective of the future of their kids, grand kids is certainly necessary.
Estée Lauder Advanced Night Repair
Estée Lauder's Advanced Night Repair serum has been a wonderful helper since it quickly eases most irritations and balances out my skin. During a beach photo shoot last summer, the makeup girl applied makeup remover with alcohol on my face. My face immediately felt stingy. Though she used water to remove the remover, my face got extremely agitated by the sunlight on the beach (with spray on sunscreen) . After I got home, I put some ANR on my face and my face felt better immediately. Two hours later, the redness went down some. After that day, I start to use the serum as a soother. Whenever I get too much oil on my face and my skin starts to complain, I apply this and some oil free gel for a day, my skin goes back to normal.
Though I haven't noticed any effect on removing fine lines around my eyes. As careful as I was, I still notice that the skin around my eyes is get more and more loose and has developed mesh like texture and some light fine lines. Duh, I am getting older but I want to fight it! I recently bought the ANR eye cream. It has very high rating for effectiveness but also very low rating since it is agitating. I am nervous about it since I did feel some agitation for the last two days. I can only apply it sparely and monitor closely.
-- 3/26. Update: it might not be this eye cream that stings. I suspect it's the Clinique All About Eye Rich cream I put on during day time that is causing tear. I stopped using it. It's been almost a week now and the ANR cream hasn't caused any problem. I did notice a tiny new fine line but I am not sure if it was caused by the other one. I should have test new products one at a time. 
But other than that, i am not sure if ANR is working. The lines seem to be shallower but it might be because I have been very carefully keeping the area moist; they certainly haven't started to disappear yet. Ah.... I hate this!
-- Caution: this product contains Retinal, which is a good thing for fighting fine lines but makes your skin irritated and extremely sensitive to sunlight.